Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
