the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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