I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
