its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
