well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
