She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
