No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
