I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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