we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
