do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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