living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
