I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
