South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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