those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
