im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
