Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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