my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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