so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
