ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
