I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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