So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
