My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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