So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize