dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my phone needs a breathalizer
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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