Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize