sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
