Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
