oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
