his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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