We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
