She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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