yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
