You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
