I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
