I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
