If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Two words: blizzard sex
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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