the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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