How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
