i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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