so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
