HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize