I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
