That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
