Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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