so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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