I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
