me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
