Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
as a side note pls kill me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
