Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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