I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize