I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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