I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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