I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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