the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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