OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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