at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I could fuck to npr.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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