I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
