maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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