who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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