There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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