I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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