if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
