ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize