Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
