I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
